I'm not really sure how this all begun...I say that, as if it is my way of washing my hands of all the crazy life happenings. The truth is I remember the exact moment it happened, where I was, who I was with, the moment I toppled over my feet and my crush on Jer began. The moment is frozen in time and has left a trail of bread crumbs to him ever since. Even now 12 years later I am still finding crumbs that lead me to him and that giddy feeling that began it all.

So I guess the real question is not how did this begin, but rather, was I picking up the right bread crumbs?

I woke up as usual today. I still have 2 kids. I still have a baby bump that makes me walk funny and eat 8 hostess cupcakes in less than 24 hours, I still have loads of laundry undone and crackers smushed strategically in my carpet. So here it is... Did this trail really led to this place? That when my body hurts and laundry soap needs to be bought and vacuuming needs to be done my crush, my partner in all this lives in a different country. Working in a job that makes him almost unrecognizable to me. Having code words with me because he can't tell me what he is doing today. Having him speak a different language than me and write in what I think is scribbles. Having a whole different life that is completely unfamiliar to what I know...I was picking up the brown crumbs, maybe I should have picked up the white?

So today I did wake up as usual, but realized it is time I start journaling on what it is like to be married to a man like this...






So what does your husband wear to work?